[ Chorus ]

OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OH WHAT A SPECTACLE
FROM DESK TO RECEPTACLE
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
THEY HORNY AND PLENTIFUL
FAR FROM CONVENTIONAL
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS

[Verse 1]

I’m a married man, baby we can’t do this
Truth is, your shape, no man can resist
From the curve of your legs, the strength in your arms
Nice wide back, fuck this couch, what’s the harm

Imagine my alarm when it whispered eat me out
Had my doubts, till I searched crevices and shout
“Oh jeezes! My sofa’s packing meat”
Time to get a little TGIF Treat

My mandibles working at all kinds of angles
Then a felt a low nudge, and I noticed a dangle
Seems the armoire wants more than my footsies
Already bent over and got me saying “WHOOPSIE”

Head down drown in the crevice of my davenport
Bottom boy toy for erectness in this contact sport
A living room set, have some living room sex
My furniture has genitals, and guys, it’s just the best!

[ Chorus ]

OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OH WHAT A SPECTACLE
FROM DESK TO RECEPTACLE
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
THEY HORNY AND PLENTIFUL
FAR FROM CONVENTIONAL
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS

[ Verse 2]

So I’m plastering upholstery, asking it to hold me
Find me in the folding chairs that like to blow me
On the kitchen table, like a fairy tale
That’s an 8 foot hard top, but I’m more than able

Have I gone unstable? Nope, Yes, Maybe?
But I’m deep inside the night stand dirty talking my baby
They come in all shapes and sizes, male, enby, or lady
That lamps got five heads, time to get shady

So I’m good as gravy, then my wife wanders in
I panic, balls deep in the laundry bin
The quandry then, is Objectiphilia cheating
Not like it’s Fornophilia, now That would be creeping

But as I watched her breathing, heavier and hot
Took a risk, waved her in, now the orgy don’t stop
She’s astride the Ikea, Sonoma and Moaning
Call us freaks, but with the parts provided, we do our own thing

[ Chorus ]

OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OH WHAT A SPECTACLE
FROM DESK TO RECEPTACLE
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
THEY HORNY AND PLENTIFUL
FAR FROM CONVENTIONAL
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS