1. |
Henchmen feat. Gr3ys0n
02:48
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[Chrosu]
I miss the days, of working in offices
I’d kill for a cubical, over Apocalypse
Recruiters pitch jobs in god damn Metropolis
Hate Mondays, Hate Holidays, Total Eclipse
Wish my resume wasn’t villain reliant
I’m pretty sure we ain’t even Osha Compliant
Never should have taken this henchman assignment
This job is Shit, and my boss is a Tyrant
[Steve Verse]
Hey Gr3y listen up, did you see that recent memo
We were CC’d, all departments, Bombs and Demo
Mandatory overtime, build a “Fortress in the sky”
Five ten, weekend shift? FUCK that guy
Like how many of third shift are gonna have to die
On the drill core team we were all like, why?
Why do we have to release magma to the surface
Fucking working in the mantle layer’s a god damn furnace
Worst yet, they cancelled bagel Fridays
We’re gonna lose one of our two floating holidays
Don’t even get hazard pay working the perimeter
I should ditch this clown and go back to Mr. Sinister
Least his benefits were better, lower deductables
Why the hell is my forklift self-destrucable
Like what, Iron Man’s gonna target the loading docks
Shit, The Thing is attacking, this job can kick rocks
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2. |
Objectophilia
02:41
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[ Chorus ]
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OH WHAT A SPECTACLE
FROM DESK TO RECEPTACLE
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
THEY HORNY AND PLENTIFUL
FAR FROM CONVENTIONAL
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
[Verse 1]
I’m a married man, baby we can’t do this
Truth is, your shape, no man can resist
From the curve of your legs, the strength in your arms
Nice wide back, fuck this couch, what’s the harm
Imagine my alarm when it whispered eat me out
Had my doubts, till I searched crevices and shout
“Oh jeezes! My sofa’s packing meat”
Time to get a little TGIF Treat
My mandibles working at all kinds of angles
Then a felt a low nudge, and I noticed a dangle
Seems the armoire wants more than my footsies
Already bent over and got me saying “WHOOPSIE”
Head down drown in the crevice of my davenport
Bottom boy toy for erectness in this contact sport
A living room set, have some living room sex
My furniture has genitals, and guys, it’s just the best!
[ Chorus ]
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OH WHAT A SPECTACLE
FROM DESK TO RECEPTACLE
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
THEY HORNY AND PLENTIFUL
FAR FROM CONVENTIONAL
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
[ Verse 2]
So I’m plastering upholstery, asking it to hold me
Find me in the folding chairs that like to blow me
On the kitchen table, like a fairy tale
That’s an 8 foot hard top, but I’m more than able
Have I gone unstable? Nope, Yes, Maybe?
But I’m deep inside the night stand dirty talking my baby
They come in all shapes and sizes, male, enby, or lady
That lamps got five heads, time to get shady
So I’m good as gravy, then my wife wanders in
I panic, balls deep in the laundry bin
The quandry then, is Objectiphilia cheating
Not like it’s Fornophilia, now That would be creeping
But as I watched her breathing, heavier and hot
Took a risk, waved her in, now the orgy don’t stop
She’s astride the Ikea, Sonoma and Moaning
Call us freaks, but with the parts provided, we do our own thing
[ Chorus ]
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OH WHAT A SPECTACLE
FROM DESK TO RECEPTACLE
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
THEY HORNY AND PLENTIFUL
FAR FROM CONVENTIONAL
OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS
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3. |
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[Steve Verse 1]
Imma just take a little moment to explain
That a vertical structure and a tree ain’t the same
See it seems pretty evident but join my simple game
Tell me what could be a tree and Imma hit you with refrain
Telephone poles? Not even in the ballpark
They’re wood with branches but they lack perennial spark
Cell Phone Towers? Further off the mark
They metal, electronical, not of earth, let’s start
Again, nope, basketball players ain’t either
Yeah their arms could be braches but they not sunlight breathers
Skyscrapers are out, do you have a fever
They’re concrete and steel, not a plant, not a creature
Giraffes, you’re closer, they got them long necks
But the animal kingdom would likely take offense
At least they eat trees, or parts, in your defense
Shouldn’t have to explain it, fucking nonsense
[Chorus]
This concept isn’t hard just check the dictionary
And your lack of comprehension got me worried and warry
Are you like a Captcha? Having me click the image
I feel like a person should recognize the visage of a
Tree. It’s like, an everyday object
And if you can’t identify one, well, you’re a project
But to offset your lack of knowledge of here to assist
You’ve got to know what a tree is if you’re gonna exist
[Bridge]
What about ladders? Not a tree
Tall stack of crackers? Not a tree
Monoliths basalt? Not a tree
Poles to Pole Vault? Not a tree
[Steve Verse 2]
I feel like we spent a lot of time on this already
Now I want you focused, mind right, eyes steady
Just because it’s tall doesn’t equal a tree
So AMA, cause I got time, ask me anything
Air traffic towers? They spread at the top
But they lack any foliage, no go, full stop
And stone henge is just a big pile of rocks
None of these are close, so Imma tick em off
No to the eiffal tower, no to electric power
Structures that string lines like vines, no flowers
No to the fake plastic Christmas centerpiece now there
Could be an argument there, to the doubters
If sex doll ain’t a person than that don’t make the grade
No to the strength testing game at the circus arcade
No to the elevator shaft, listen, wait
You were ALMOST THERE WITH A FUCKING LEMONADE… Stand
[Chorus]
This concept isn’t hard just check the dictionary
And your lack of comprehension got me worried and warry
Are you like a Captcha? Having me click the image
I feel like a person should recognize the visage of a
Tree. It’s like, an everyday object
And if you can’t identify one, well, you’re a project
But to offset your lack of knowledge of here to assist
You’ve got to know what a tree is if you’re gonna exist
[Bridge]
NASA Space Shuttle? Not a Tree
Antenna on Hubble? Not a Tree
Single Skill Upgrades? Not a Tree
Vermont Upstate? Not a Tree
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4. |
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[Verse 1]
Hey listen, I got a few unpopular opinions
About some characters the bare the curse of fantasy fiction
And though the friction and division that their properties envision
cause confliction can’t we all agree they deserve intermission
From all this romantical confinement
Step across their worlds and they break from the consignment
Take a Catniss Everdeen and give her Samwise then
They could farm together, more a peaceful alignment
Don’t say no go just cause Frodo would likely draw her out
Just like Bilbo should a pro-posed to Brienne of Tarth, no doubt
Now that’s a walk about, to the Great Hall of Tarth
Like if this was science fiction pairing 3PO and Barf
Odd couples double up the chances for romantics
See Hermoine Granger backing up Gerralt in Witcher Antics
Not like the kid version of Hermoine, like the adult one
Really guys, I’m not like, trying to promote pedophilia here
Gross
[Chorus - Taken from Dido's White Flag with changed melody]
I Will Go Down With This Ship
And I Won't Throw My Hands Up In Surrender
There Will Be No White Flag Above My Door
I'm In Love, And Always Will Be
[Verse 2]
Getting Catty with Gabby dropping Xena for Chetarah
They could sun ray day nap, basking in Amara
Trade the beast in for an upgrade Belle, choose Galadriel
You could read of Westmarch while the elf gives em hell
Hard to tell, when you step outside the box
Wendy Darling telling Tenar bout the far things out the locks
Now lets get in some boys, go beyond the simple couple
Tidus, Cloud, and Squall, in a quiet little sad boy Thruple
Double your pleasure, double your gum, triple your fun
Cuddle the Chesire, nuzzle the clever, tickle rum tum
Tugger, D&D Sluggers, wait that’s a ship for myself
But a guy can dream, Malificent and Rey, drink to my health
I’ve got a wealth of romance stirring emotions and feelings
So stop your nay saying, straying cravings, and don’t stop believing
That if these queens and kings are sure make believe breathing
Then I can fantasized about their eyes locking, hearts beating
[Chorus - Taken from Dido's White Flag with changed melody]
I Will Go Down With This Ship
And I Won't Throw My Hands Up In Surrender
There Will Be No White Flag Above My Door
I'm In Love, And Always Will Be
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5. |
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[Steve Verse - Charlie Chaplin]
Hey Chaaarlie
If I might say pardon me
Is that a high school student there? Or wife 1, 2, or 3
Seems you and Clairs got a predilection for pubescent girls
See we traveled from the Modern Age to roast this swine among pearls
They ain’t your Property Man, The Kids a Dastardly scam
So I emphatically plan, to lay my hands upon you and do what I can
I got wrecking ball Shane Hall for this violent Circus
Knock that little Hitler mustache right off your face, to be of service
Brought Lean Mean Selene as a beat down companion
Knock your teeth out, not like you need to talk, from here all the way to Staton
Island, my friend, see I’m usually pro immigrant
But I used my wish to turn you from Millionaire to indigent
Take this Masquerador from easy street to living the Dog’s Life
Maybe next time don’t shop the schoolyard to find your next wife
And as you lay there shattered, knocked out, busted and beaten
This pedophile fades to silence, besides, we’ve got Buster Keaton
[Chorus]
We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right
Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight
Don’t give a shit about their history, it ain’t a fucking mystery
Great men of the past are all fucking scum and villany
We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right
Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight
Sure they made it to greatness, but behind those faces
They did some bitch made shit, so we gonna make this right
[Selene Verse - Mahatma Gandhi]
IS THIS YOUR MAHATMA? I’m properly revolted
that this fash loving woman hating racist creep’s exalted
This assault’ll knock the rest your molars out your mouth, Mohandas
And I’ll tell you that is less a threat than it is a promise
I’m astonished history has held a positive perspective through
your grandniece’s account that told the world how she had slept with you
like other teens you’d bring into your bed, bath and latrine
I’ll bring a head bash atcha faster than you had trashed Bhagat Singh
See, I am Jack’s complete lack of sympathy concerning
leaving victim blaming cult leaders limping badly hurting
It’s disturbing how you left Kasturba dying from infection
for the principles you soon would drop to cure your own afflictions
Flick a switch and I’m there swinging, buddy. Reared and here to fight
The great MessiahCarey on my left, and Steve upon my right
Write your “dear friend” Adolph, how your constipation’s through
cause this time traveling crew had beat that shit right out of you
[Chorus]
We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right
Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight
Don’t give a shit about their history, it ain’t a fucking mystery
Great men of the past are all fucking scum and villany
We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right
Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight
Sure they made it to greatness, but behind those faces
They did some bitch made shit, so we gonna make this right
[MessiahCarey aka Shane Hall - John Winston Lennon]
Imagine - if there was no john lennon
No tamed rebellion distilled into a weapon
Got a confession that I guess it’s time to mention
Your sacred cows can fuck off, they get no honorable mentions
they are often wrong to invest in
Harbingers of oppression volatile with aggression
Especially this son of a bootlicker John Winston
unpopular opinion; the dead do not Listen
If I could pass through 4 of the dimensions with some sort of invention
I would do more than just mention your sordid intentions
handed a pallet with a handful of talent
erratic with malice, domestically havok
You talk talk talk about wanting peace in your life,
While you’re beating your son and beating your wife
Should put hands around your throat while I squeeze real tight
You abusive mother fucker now "how do you sleep at night?"
[Chorus]
We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right
Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight
Don’t give a shit about their history, it ain’t a fucking mystery
Great men of the past are all fucking scum and villany
We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right
Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight
Sure they made it to greatness, but behind those faces
They did some bitch made shit, so we gonna make this right
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Steve Seattle, Washington
Steve is a Nerdcore artist working on new solo material. He will rap about feelings and fandoms on his new, upcoming album, Steve. For now, enjoy his former solo tracks from years ago until the new album comes out.
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