[Chrosu] I miss the days, of working in offices I’d kill for a cubical, over Apocalypse Recruiters pitch jobs in god damn Metropolis Hate Mondays, Hate Holidays, Total Eclipse Wish my resume wasn’t villain reliant I’m pretty sure we ain’t even Osha Compliant Never should have taken this henchman assignment This job is Shit, and my boss is a Tyrant [Steve Verse] Hey Gr3y listen up, did you see that recent memo We were CC’d, all departments, Bombs and Demo Mandatory overtime, build a “Fortress in the sky” Five ten, weekend shift? FUCK that guy Like how many of third shift are gonna have to die On the drill core team we were all like, why? Why do we have to release magma to the surface Fucking working in the mantle layer’s a god damn furnace Worst yet, they cancelled bagel Fridays We’re gonna lose one of our two floating holidays Don’t even get hazard pay working the perimeter I should ditch this clown and go back to Mr. Sinister Least his benefits were better, lower deductables Why the hell is my forklift self-destrucable Like what, Iron Man’s gonna target the loading docks Shit, The Thing is attacking, this job can kick rocks

[ Chorus ] OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS OH WHAT A SPECTACLE FROM DESK TO RECEPTACLE OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS THEY HORNY AND PLENTIFUL FAR FROM CONVENTIONAL OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS [Verse 1] I’m a married man, baby we can’t do this Truth is, your shape, no man can resist From the curve of your legs, the strength in your arms Nice wide back, fuck this couch, what’s the harm Imagine my alarm when it whispered eat me out Had my doubts, till I searched crevices and shout “Oh jeezes! My sofa’s packing meat” Time to get a little TGIF Treat My mandibles working at all kinds of angles Then a felt a low nudge, and I noticed a dangle Seems the armoire wants more than my footsies Already bent over and got me saying “WHOOPSIE” Head down drown in the crevice of my davenport Bottom boy toy for erectness in this contact sport A living room set, have some living room sex My furniture has genitals, and guys, it’s just the best! [ Chorus ] OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS OH WHAT A SPECTACLE FROM DESK TO RECEPTACLE OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS THEY HORNY AND PLENTIFUL FAR FROM CONVENTIONAL OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS [ Verse 2] So I’m plastering upholstery, asking it to hold me Find me in the folding chairs that like to blow me On the kitchen table, like a fairy tale That’s an 8 foot hard top, but I’m more than able Have I gone unstable? Nope, Yes, Maybe? But I’m deep inside the night stand dirty talking my baby They come in all shapes and sizes, male, enby, or lady That lamps got five heads, time to get shady So I’m good as gravy, then my wife wanders in I panic, balls deep in the laundry bin The quandry then, is Objectiphilia cheating Not like it’s Fornophilia, now That would be creeping But as I watched her breathing, heavier and hot Took a risk, waved her in, now the orgy don’t stop She’s astride the Ikea, Sonoma and Moaning Call us freaks, but with the parts provided, we do our own thing [ Chorus ] OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS OH WHAT A SPECTACLE FROM DESK TO RECEPTACLE OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS THEY HORNY AND PLENTIFUL FAR FROM CONVENTIONAL OUR FURNITURE HAS GENITALS

[Steve Verse 1] Imma just take a little moment to explain That a vertical structure and a tree ain’t the same See it seems pretty evident but join my simple game Tell me what could be a tree and Imma hit you with refrain Telephone poles? Not even in the ballpark They’re wood with branches but they lack perennial spark Cell Phone Towers? Further off the mark They metal, electronical, not of earth, let’s start Again, nope, basketball players ain’t either Yeah their arms could be braches but they not sunlight breathers Skyscrapers are out, do you have a fever They’re concrete and steel, not a plant, not a creature Giraffes, you’re closer, they got them long necks But the animal kingdom would likely take offense At least they eat trees, or parts, in your defense Shouldn’t have to explain it, fucking nonsense [Chorus] This concept isn’t hard just check the dictionary And your lack of comprehension got me worried and warry Are you like a Captcha? Having me click the image I feel like a person should recognize the visage of a Tree. It’s like, an everyday object And if you can’t identify one, well, you’re a project But to offset your lack of knowledge of here to assist You’ve got to know what a tree is if you’re gonna exist [Bridge] What about ladders? Not a tree Tall stack of crackers? Not a tree Monoliths basalt? Not a tree Poles to Pole Vault? Not a tree [Steve Verse 2] I feel like we spent a lot of time on this already Now I want you focused, mind right, eyes steady Just because it’s tall doesn’t equal a tree So AMA, cause I got time, ask me anything Air traffic towers? They spread at the top But they lack any foliage, no go, full stop And stone henge is just a big pile of rocks None of these are close, so Imma tick em off No to the eiffal tower, no to electric power Structures that string lines like vines, no flowers No to the fake plastic Christmas centerpiece now there Could be an argument there, to the doubters If sex doll ain’t a person than that don’t make the grade No to the strength testing game at the circus arcade No to the elevator shaft, listen, wait You were ALMOST THERE WITH A FUCKING LEMONADE… Stand [Chorus] This concept isn’t hard just check the dictionary And your lack of comprehension got me worried and warry Are you like a Captcha? Having me click the image I feel like a person should recognize the visage of a Tree. It’s like, an everyday object And if you can’t identify one, well, you’re a project But to offset your lack of knowledge of here to assist You’ve got to know what a tree is if you’re gonna exist [Bridge] NASA Space Shuttle? Not a Tree Antenna on Hubble? Not a Tree Single Skill Upgrades? Not a Tree Vermont Upstate? Not a Tree

[Verse 1] Hey listen, I got a few unpopular opinions About some characters the bare the curse of fantasy fiction And though the friction and division that their properties envision cause confliction can’t we all agree they deserve intermission From all this romantical confinement Step across their worlds and they break from the consignment Take a Catniss Everdeen and give her Samwise then They could farm together, more a peaceful alignment Don’t say no go just cause Frodo would likely draw her out Just like Bilbo should a pro-posed to Brienne of Tarth, no doubt Now that’s a walk about, to the Great Hall of Tarth Like if this was science fiction pairing 3PO and Barf Odd couples double up the chances for romantics See Hermoine Granger backing up Gerralt in Witcher Antics Not like the kid version of Hermoine, like the adult one Really guys, I’m not like, trying to promote pedophilia here Gross [Chorus - Taken from Dido's White Flag with changed melody] I Will Go Down With This Ship And I Won't Throw My Hands Up In Surrender There Will Be No White Flag Above My Door I'm In Love, And Always Will Be [Verse 2] Getting Catty with Gabby dropping Xena for Chetarah They could sun ray day nap, basking in Amara Trade the beast in for an upgrade Belle, choose Galadriel You could read of Westmarch while the elf gives em hell Hard to tell, when you step outside the box Wendy Darling telling Tenar bout the far things out the locks Now lets get in some boys, go beyond the simple couple Tidus, Cloud, and Squall, in a quiet little sad boy Thruple Double your pleasure, double your gum, triple your fun Cuddle the Chesire, nuzzle the clever, tickle rum tum Tugger, D&D Sluggers, wait that’s a ship for myself But a guy can dream, Malificent and Rey, drink to my health I’ve got a wealth of romance stirring emotions and feelings So stop your nay saying, straying cravings, and don’t stop believing That if these queens and kings are sure make believe breathing Then I can fantasized about their eyes locking, hearts beating [Chorus - Taken from Dido's White Flag with changed melody] I Will Go Down With This Ship And I Won't Throw My Hands Up In Surrender There Will Be No White Flag Above My Door I'm In Love, And Always Will Be

[Steve Verse - Charlie Chaplin] Hey Chaaarlie If I might say pardon me Is that a high school student there? Or wife 1, 2, or 3 Seems you and Clairs got a predilection for pubescent girls See we traveled from the Modern Age to roast this swine among pearls They ain’t your Property Man, The Kids a Dastardly scam So I emphatically plan, to lay my hands upon you and do what I can I got wrecking ball Shane Hall for this violent Circus Knock that little Hitler mustache right off your face, to be of service Brought Lean Mean Selene as a beat down companion Knock your teeth out, not like you need to talk, from here all the way to Staton Island, my friend, see I’m usually pro immigrant But I used my wish to turn you from Millionaire to indigent Take this Masquerador from easy street to living the Dog’s Life Maybe next time don’t shop the schoolyard to find your next wife And as you lay there shattered, knocked out, busted and beaten This pedophile fades to silence, besides, we’ve got Buster Keaton [Chorus] We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight Don’t give a shit about their history, it ain’t a fucking mystery Great men of the past are all fucking scum and villany We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight Sure they made it to greatness, but behind those faces They did some bitch made shit, so we gonna make this right [Selene Verse - Mahatma Gandhi] IS THIS YOUR MAHATMA? I’m properly revolted that this fash loving woman hating racist creep’s exalted This assault’ll knock the rest your molars out your mouth, Mohandas And I’ll tell you that is less a threat than it is a promise I’m astonished history has held a positive perspective through your grandniece’s account that told the world how she had slept with you like other teens you’d bring into your bed, bath and latrine I’ll bring a head bash atcha faster than you had trashed Bhagat Singh See, I am Jack’s complete lack of sympathy concerning leaving victim blaming cult leaders limping badly hurting It’s disturbing how you left Kasturba dying from infection for the principles you soon would drop to cure your own afflictions Flick a switch and I’m there swinging, buddy. Reared and here to fight The great MessiahCarey on my left, and Steve upon my right Write your “dear friend” Adolph, how your constipation’s through cause this time traveling crew had beat that shit right out of you [Chorus] We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight Don’t give a shit about their history, it ain’t a fucking mystery Great men of the past are all fucking scum and villany We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight Sure they made it to greatness, but behind those faces They did some bitch made shit, so we gonna make this right [MessiahCarey aka Shane Hall - John Winston Lennon] Imagine - if there was no john lennon No tamed rebellion distilled into a weapon Got a confession that I guess it’s time to mention Your sacred cows can fuck off, they get no honorable mentions they are often wrong to invest in Harbingers of oppression volatile with aggression Especially this son of a bootlicker John Winston unpopular opinion; the dead do not Listen If I could pass through 4 of the dimensions with some sort of invention I would do more than just mention your sordid intentions handed a pallet with a handful of talent erratic with malice, domestically havok You talk talk talk about wanting peace in your life, While you’re beating your son and beating your wife Should put hands around your throat while I squeeze real tight You abusive mother fucker now "how do you sleep at night?" [Chorus] We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight Don’t give a shit about their history, it ain’t a fucking mystery Great men of the past are all fucking scum and villany We gonna beat up, we gonna fuck em up right Cause Selene, Steve and Shane, we all get our wish tonight Sure they made it to greatness, but behind those faces They did some bitch made shit, so we gonna make this right